Saying Goodbye to Grandpa Swede

One week ago yesterday, Saturday May 30th, my Grandpa "Swede" passed away at the hospital in Evanston. What a sad day in my life. I will miss him so much. I have so many great memories of him and of going over to his house all of my life growing up. He was my Dad's Dad...and was the only Grandpa I ever knew. He turned 90 in January and was definitely showing his 90 years, but also still lived on his own in the house he'd lived in almost all of his life with the help of my Mom taking him shopping and to doctors appointments, and helping him with his medications etc...I think I speak for all of us when I say how thankful we are for everything she did for him as he got older and I also think it was fitting that she was the one there in his hospital room when he took his last breath. I guess we all knew that it would happen sometime, but I guess I just thought he still had awhile to live. When my sister called me that Saturday morning to tell me he wasn't doing very well and had been taken to the hospital in an ambulance, I planned to head to Evanston that evening to be there to go see him Sunday morning. As I was sitting at dinner with Lars, my sister called me again and told me that he had died. I couldn't believe it, the last I had heard was he was being moved out of the ICU into his own room and was getting hydrated again and his oxygen levels were coming back up. My Dad and my uncles were making plans to come as soon as they could too. I don't think any of us thought he would go that fast. For me I was so sad that I had been in town just the day before and hadn't taken the time to go see him before leaving to come home. I had been in town 2 weeks before and spent some time with him and had also met him and my uncles for lunch in Morgan one week before but I still regret not going to see him that last time. All that kept going through my mind is that I couldn't believe he was gone and I would never see him again. I headed to Evanston that night by myself and I think I cried the whole drive home recalling so many memories of my Grandpa. As I pulled into town around 10:30, I really was just going to head out to my Mom's house, but couldn't stop myself from driving over to my Grandpa's house. I knew my Uncle Sam was getting to town around the same time and I saw that the lights were on so I went in. I'll never forget the feeling when I walked through the door knowing that my Grandpa wasn't there and that he never would be again. So sad. I found Sam downstairs and gave him a hug and cried again. More for him that time knowing the pain he felt of losing his father. We talked for a few minutes, then I left and drove out to my Mom's. I didn't sleep much that night, then got up and went to church the next morning. My Dad got into town awhile later, so he my Mom, Sam and I went to lunch, then we started cleaning my Grandpa's house. It was nice that I could be in town without my kids this time to spend some time with my Dad and his brothers. For as long as I can remember my Grandpa talked about donating his body to the University of Utah for research. He had it all planned out and after he passed away the funeral home agreed to keep his body there all day Sunday for anyone who wanted to come say goodbye. I decided to go with my Dad to see him one last time. It was really hard, but I'm glad I did. I got to help my Dad and uncles with my Grandpa's obituary as well and pick out a picture to put in the paper. It was nice to just hang out at my Grandpa's house and reminisce about him and do the things that we always did there. We played our favorite family card game "Oh hell", and talked about how sad it was when my Grandpa got to the point that he couldn't see the cards well enough to play it anymore. We sat by the fire on my Grandpa's patio and at one point my uncle brought me my Grandpa's old coat to put on because I was still cold. I imagined my Grandpa looking down on us smiling. As sad as I was I'm happy for him to be rid of his tired old body and I love to think of him in a better place watching over us now.
Since he was donating his body, there wasn't a funeral and we decided to just hold a casual gathering in his memory on his back patio. There wouldn't have been a better place to have it. It's the place that we all always gathered and he wouldn't have wanted anything formal.
After staying all day Monday I drove home and the boys and I drove back to town Wednesday. Almost all of my Dad's side of the family got to town between Tuesday and Thursday and it was great that everyone could be there to celebrate my Grandpa's life. And that is what we did. I think we all felt his loss a lot being at his house without him there, but we also had a great time reminiscing again and just being together. I hadn't seen some of them for a long time and imagine now that I won't again for a long time.
The only bad thing was poor little Gunnar was so sick. He was up all night Wednesday with a fever and was miserable all day Thursday. Ashton on the other hand had a blast playing with his uncles Jordan and Michael. They were so cute entertaining him and wrestling with him for hours. My cute cousins Ashley and Beth and my sister Kelli were so helpful with him and Gunnar too. Thanks you guys!
I think we would all agree that it was a great few days of celebrating my Grandpa. He lived such a simple life and was such a good man. He use to love hunting and fishing and was an amazing carpenter. For years he had walked up to the Legal Tender in Evanston to go to coffee with his loyal friend Lloyd, so on Thursday morning we all met at 10 am for coffee with Lloyd. That afternoon we had our gathering and it turned out to be a beautiful day as we all hung out on the patio and people came to extend their condolences. We took lots of pictures before a few people had to leave town that afternoon, then we lit the fire again for more s'mores.
I think we are all glad that his house will stay in the family. While everyone was in town for his 90th birthday in January he told my uncle Charlie that he wanted him to have the house after he died. He had so many things planned out trying to make it easier for everyone when he was gone. I couldn't imagine his house having to be sold. The thought of never getting to go sit on his back patio used to make me cry. I have so many memories there and it's really one of my favorite places to be. After moving away from home when I was 17, I still pretty much came home every 4th of July weekend and almost always watched the fireworks with my Grandpa and whoever else was in town. We'd walk up to the park on the corner or go to one of the schools and sit out on the grass.
I'm so grateful that my Grandpa was alive to meet my boys and hold them as babies. He loved to see them when I brought them over and one thing he said to me a lot the last few times I saw him was that I had a great little family and then he'd always ask me where my little girl was, saying I needed one. I also always remember him saying "Keep the faith" as I was leaving his house. The last time I was there when he was alive he ate one of those little ice cream cups and gave some to my boys.
When I told Ashton that Great Grandpa had died he said "What? No I don't want him to die. I loved him so much." Then as we were pulling into town on Wednesday he said "Ya know Mommy, just because someone dies it doesn't mean you can't still love them, because I still love Great Grandpa." Such a sweetie.
I still love you too Grandpa and I will miss you so much.

Look below to see a slideshow of my favorite pictures of my Grandpa

( I couldn't get it to work to put it in with this post)

It also wouldn't let me move pictures around where I wanted them in this post, so I'll have to add more tomorrow of the past week...