Gunnar is 6 months old!

6 months ago today (March 28) at 12:52 pm our sweet little Gunnar Chase was born. I remember the night before as I was cleaning up after dinner, I started to feel contractions pretty often so I started timing them and they were eventually coming every 4-5 minutes, so I called my Mom to tell her I thought that labor was starting but I wasn't sure. We decided that I would keep timing them for awhile, then I would call her back later. Finally around 9:30 or so I called her back and told her I still wasn't sure, but she said she would just head down. It's a 2 hour drive from Evanston. She showed up around midnight and by that time my contractions had all but stopped! I felt so bad that she had come down and now I didn't really know if I was having the baby or not! So she just slept on the couch and I just decided to go to bed and see what happened in the morning. Thank goodness she'd come to stay with Ashton because sure enough, they started back up around 5:00 am and got fairly strong and consistent about 4-5 mintues apart again, so I woke up Lars and we got showered and ready and were up to the hospital by about 7:30 I think. I remember walking up to the nurses desk, still a little unsure if I was really in labor because it wasn't really too painful yet. So they admitted me and checked me and hooked me up to the fetal monitor and everything and I was definitely in labor, but it wasn't progressing very quickly. I was dilated to a 3 I think, but stayed that way for a couple hours, so eventually they put me on pitosin to get things going quicker and I got my epidural around 9:30 (even though I still wasn't feeling very much)...then I was fully dilated by about 12:45 and after about 3 pushes he was out! I remember our doctor said-"oh looks like he doesn't have any hair" (because she saw the top of his head, that had hardly any hair), but then when he came out of course we saw that it was about an inch long and bright blonde everywhere else! I can still see in my mind exactly how he looked when she held him up for me to see-he was screaming and had his cute little bottom lip stuck out! I can't believe it's already been 6 months!! He is such a fun, happy, curious baby...and such a blessing in our lives. We prayed and prayed for another baby (just like we prayed for 2 1/2 years for Ashton!). I can't wait to see more of his personality develop, but if I could freeze time, I would keep him this age for a long time first.

Just Gunnar and Me :)

Gunnar and I are home alone! Lars and Ashton left Thursday afternoon to go to Price for a long weekend. Lars is hunting around there, so he took Ashton with him to hang out with Nana & Papa and his cousins. He was SOOOO excited to go before they left. He couldn't stop smiling. I hear that he is having a lot of fun. It's been fun just being home with Gunnar too. I miss Ashton ( I don't think I've ever been without him for this long) , but it's nice also to just get to spend some time alone with Gunnar. It reminds me of when Ashton was this age-I love it! And it is amazing how much you can get done without a 3 1/2 year old following you around and undoing everything! And with only one child who is still immobile!

As soon as they left I put Gunnar down for a nap and cleaned pretty much the whole house so that I could enjoy the fact that it actually stayed that way for a few days, I'm completely caught up on laundry, I've cleaned out Ashton's closet, cleaned out the storage room under the stairs in the basement, cleaned out the fridge and got groceries, organized the shelves in the laundry room, put out some Halloween decorations and there are no dishes in my sink! Of course I've had to do most of this at the random times when Gunnar has been sleeping, but it's still nice to feel like I've gotten caught up on a few things. I'm excited to see Ashton tomorrow and hear about his adventures in Price!

Our Crazy week

This week has been kind of a crazy one...and not really in a good way. First of all Ashton has just been really difficult again the past few weeks. He's acting like he did right after we brought Gunnar home from the hospital. I'm not really sure what's been setting it off right now, I just know that a lot of days are very hard! So he had preschool on Tuesday...Lars dropped him off and said he was fine, they were doing a paint project that day, so he went right over and put on his paint shirt and got started & told Lars goodbye. So I went to pick him up and as usual he didn't want to leave-he was out playing on all of the play equipment they have in a big sandbox. So I was talking to his new teacher and kind of keeping my eye on him as well as holding Gunnar. Next thing I knew a little girl threw sand at him, then he threw it back at her...so I ran over as quick as I could and grabbed him out of the little ship they were sitting in. Both teachers ran over at the same time (of course all they saw was Ashton throw the sand). Anyway I was trying to get him to apologize and he started lashing out at the teachers and me, so I was really trying to just get out of there and before I could even see what he was doing (and I didn't actually see it) he grabbed a little rake out of another little girl's hand and smacked her across the face with it!! I only knew he did it because the girl started bawling. I immediately went over to the little girl's Mom and apolgized and tried to see if the girl was okay, then not knowing what else to do grabbed Ashton and left. What a nightmare!!! I was so embarrassed and sooooo mad! So I took him out and put him in the car and as I'm getting ready to drive away the little girl that he hit and her Mom are walking by and I see that now the Mom is bawling!! So I got out of the car and went up to her and apologized again and asked if the little girl was okay. At that point I could see the scratches on the side of her face and still not knowing what had happened assumed they were from Ashton's nails or something. ( I didn't find out till HE told me later that he'd done it with a rake!) Anyway the Mom just said that she was fine, but she was very obviously upset. I felt horrible! I could totally understand how she felt...Lars and I have been on the other end of a situation like this back when one of Ashton's little friends slammed his head in a door! I can still remember exactly how I felt when that happened, so I don't blame her. Anyway this story could get really long, so to shorten it a little bit...I called the preschool that night thinking I would just leave a message, but the director answered the phone, so I talked to her for quite awhile. All I had to do was say that I had a little boy that attended school there and that there had been an incident that day and she said "oh you must be Ashton's Mom." lovely...the other Mom had already called in obviously. Anyway interestingly enough she suggested I read a book (that I happen to already be reading right now) called "The Power of Positive Parenting" She said she's lived by it with all of her kids and truly believes in everything that the author teaches in it. And from what I've read so far, it all makes a lot of sense and we will be implementing some of the techniques with Ashton. And the teachers at the preschool will be doing the same things with him. Obviously he can't behave that way again, so I'm praying that trying some different things will help.
So last night they were having a little parent night at the school so that the kids could bring their parents and show them around and tell them what they do there. I really thought about just not going. I was seriously sick thinking about having to face that other Mom again. But we decided that we would go and told Ashton that he could earn stickers for his sticker chart for apologizing to the little girl at school. So we were there for a little while before the other Mom and little girl (and her Dad) showed up. I had already apologized to her twice, so I didn't approach her or anything, but pointed out the little girl to Ashton so that when he was ready he could go apologize. He just told me he wasn't ready. So after a little while we went outside to the "scene of the crime" aka playground. Eventually the little girl and her parents came out as well and after awhile it was just us and them (interestingly enough). Still no one said anything and after a little while we told Ashton it was time to go and he had one more chance to go say sorry at which point he went right over to her and said "I'm sorry I hit you." The Mom was right there and said to him "that was so nice of you to say sorry." Then Lars started talking to the Dad, and then we all kind of started talking and they said that she didn't seem to have any lasting effects from it (and honestly the scratches were completely gone!), and the Mom said she thought it bothered her more than it did the little girl. So I told her that I totally understood and told her about the head slamming in the door incident with Ashton and told her that I hoped she never had to be on the other end of it. We assured them that we did not take his behavior lightly and that we will be working with the preschool to make sure nothing like it ever happens again. So I felt a lot better after that, but it's still so hard when it's your kid doing the hitting! Everyone please pray for us!

We love Ashton so much and he is such a sweet fun little boy...we really want to help him get past this hitting stage and try to understand why he gets so frustrated. Once again after being pretty grouchy yesterday all morning he willingly took a nap and slept for 3 1/2 hours! So I do attribute some of his behavior to not enough sleep. Here he is happy as can be playing outside in the mud from Lars' truck after it rained the other day. ( I love the outfit! )

Last weekend

Lars made it home fine last Sunday from his scouting trip to Wyoming with news that they saw tons of deer, but no big bucks. I guess you could say the new truck is broken in...it was very muddy where they camped! Saturday was a very long day for me and the boys, so I was so excited when my Mom called me Sunday morning and told me she was on her way down to visit.
Thanks Mom you saved me that day...we went to lunch and she helped me entertain Ashton for the afternoon. That is after he VOLUNTARILY went to his room and laid in his bed and took a 2 hour nap!!! Seriously I can't really ever remember him doing that. His not so good behavior at Olive Garden made a little more sense to me after he did that! I think now with him in preschool and for a long time just refusing to nap, I kind of forget to at least try to get him to take a nap every few days. I really think he still needs one a couple times a week. He and Gunnar have both had little colds all week too. It's Gunnar's first one. Poor little guy...it's so hard when they can't breathe! But they both seem to be getting over it now.

More funny Ashton comments

Today we had just gotten home from walking down at the Logan river trail that runs along the river and the golf course (Ashton rode his bike) and he was in the garage for a minute and found the manual that came with our lawn mower and was asking me what it was, so I told him that it was the owner's manual for the lawn mower. Then he asked me "Is Daddy the owner man?" I had to laugh!

He also woke up this morning saying that green tweezers had been chasing him around for 7 years! He must have been having some crazy dreams!

I just thought of another funny thing he said when he was about 2 and had a fever...he said to Lars "I'm burnin' up hot Daddy, and it's melting my ear wax." Back then I remember thinking,

"How in the world does a 2 year old come up with something like that???" He has really come up with some funny stuff since he started talking.

I just finally got both of them to bed after a LONG day. Lars left this afternoon to go scouting for deer in Wyoming. He'll also be gone this next weekend for his Utah deer hunt around Price, then he'll go back to Wyoming that next weekend for his deer hunt up there. By then I told him he may as well take me with him and drop me off at the State Hospital in Evanston!!!

I'm glad that he gets to go hunting a few times this year since he didn't really get to last year since I was so sick with morning sickness, but it just makes

for some long days. We ended up going on 3 walks today to pass time!

Oh well, at least Ashton got some more practice riding his bike and hopefully it wore him out a little.

Acorns anyone??

Lars took Ashton on a late night "adventure" around the block the other night with the lantern and he came back with a few little acorns for me-so I added them to my little entryway table and thought they looked pretty cute with my fall decorations.

(I'll get right back to the rest of that story....)

So tonight I surprised Lars and got my great friend and neighbor Tallie and her husband Adam (and kids) to watch Ashton and Gunnar for us so he and I could go out to dinner to celebrate his 7 year anniversary for working at Hyclone (Thermo-Fisher as it's called now). So we went out alone for the first time since Gunnar was born and it was so nice! We just went to dinner at Chili's, then ran over to Michael's so I could pick up a picture frame and while we were there we got this cute little lunch box for Ashton because it was on clearance for $3. He loved it of course, and wanted to go on another "adventure" tonight and take it with him.

This is what he came home with this time-

He ran downstairs so excited to show me what he had brought me, then when I went upstairs a little while later, he had done a little more decorating for me! This is what I found...

I hope we don't attract a bunch of hungry squirrels! too funny-he was so proud of himself!

Cute Gunnar stuff

Gunnar is 5 1/2 months old now and is just so cute and fun-I love, love, love this stage! This past week he's really been starting to talk a lot, saying dadadada, yayayaya, rararara, gagagaga etc... and he gets so loud....especially when he's starting to get mad. Here is a little video of him talking...sorry about the screaming parts-you may want to turn your speakers down a little (oh and you have to pause my music on the right too so you can hear the video.)

I also keep forgetting to mention that he eats baby food now and loves everything he's tried so far. His favorites seem to be sweet potatoes, pears and applesauce. He gets so excited when it's time to eat! For a long time...like before he was even 4 months old he would just watch us intently as we were eating, (I love this picture of him watching Lars eat spaghetti!) so after his 4 month check-up we tried rice cereal. He loved it the first night and couldn't get enough, and ate it okay a couple other times, but then he didn't want anything to do with it. Now I mix it with his fruits and he eats it fine. I remember Ashton's favorite was always green beans-funny kid!

Before I forget

I wanted to get on here before I forget another comment Ashton made tonight. (I'll get to it in a minute) Anyway Lars and I punished ourselves with another car ride tonight...even an hour in the car these days is too long for us with Ashton and Gunnar! Actually Gunnar did pretty well, It was Ashton this time that whined the whole way. We drove to Bountiful for a wedding reception (Ashton's favorite babysitter Jessica got married today) Congrats Jessica and Cameron!! Anyway it was a backyard reception and Ashton was being wild as ever and by the time we left Lars and I were very frustrated and hungry since we hadn't eaten dinner before we got there. What we really wanted to do was stop off at Red Lobster on the way home, but took one look at all of the people waiting outside and decided against it and went to the Wendy's across the street instead. Well by the time we finally got to order and get our food at the "fast food" restaurant, we may as well have gone to Red Lobster-it was sooooo slow!!!! Grrrr....

Anyway when we were finally on the road again heading home I said to Lars "you and I really need a vacation alone together", and as I mentioned before...Ashton listens very intently to everything we say and says "you guys want to go on vacation? Without me???" And we said yeah someday Mommy and Daddy need to go on a vacation alone. To which he replied..."Well I'm going to go on my own vacation all by myself too then." So we asked him where he would go and he said very matter of factly " To Ogden" (like where else???) I had to laugh! And Lars said "Oh to Ogden hu?" and Ashton said yeah to Target in Ogden to buy a big boy saucer for me." This past week his jealousy and resentment of having a little brother around has really been showing up and he has really been acting out. It kind of comes and goes. He is wearing me out this week! Thank goodness it's Friday and Lars will be home for a couple days!

Quiet Time

This is sooooo nice...We dropped Ashton off to preschool an hour ago and I came home and fed Gunnar and put him down for a nap. I had almost forgotten what peace and quiet sounded like. My mind is going crazy like what should I get done first? Or should I just lay on the couch and relax? So of course instead of resting or getting anything done, I'm blogging! Who knows how long Gunnar will really sleep, but I'm guessing since he only really gets to sleep another hour before I have to go back and get Ashton, today will be the day that he would have slept longer. Oh well, I'm enjoying this quiet moment while it lasts.

We have finally gotten into somewhat of a daily schedule. Of course it's different every other day, but mostly we do the same things. I'm definitely a schedule person and I know that the kids do better when they know what to expect when. So we get up in the morning, Gunnar first usually for good around 7:00 or 7:30 , then me of course-he is my alarm clock. I feed him, then get myself some breakfast, and get a few things done if I can then Ashton has been waking up between 8:00 and 8:30. Some days he's ready for breakfast or (brek-frisk) as he still calls it and some days he refuses to eat till later. Usually we are out the door (after many fights about how cold it is and what Ashton needs to wear) by 9:00 for our walk. We walk for at least a half hour, then come home. By this point Ashton is begging me to play with a friend. Some days he gets to if anyone is home. But a lot of days he doesn't so I try to come up with something for him to do while I feed Gunnar again and get him down for a morning nap. Then I try to take a quick shower and get ready before Gunnar is awake and screaming again. The whole while Ashton is in and out of my bathroom begging me to come play with him or get him something. This is when I start to feel guilty, but really don't I at least deserve to take a shower and feel somewhat normal for the day???? So yesterday I just decided that I would put my shower off till nighttime and really try to play with Ashton and entertain him. He get sooo bored and that's when he starts acting up. (He used to at least watch a half hour show while I got ready, but anymore he could care less about t.v. most of the time). So first we did playdough for a long time. We made eggs, biscuits, bacon and cupcakes and he had to cook them all in the little pan, then put them on our plates. Then Lars came home for lunch so that killed an hour, then after he left and I got Gunnar down for his afternoon nap, I got on the internet to look for crafts for kids (thanks for the links to great kid websites Angie H.!) and I found this little (very easy) spiderman craft. Ashton LOVES spiderman right now, so he thought that was really fun. Then after playing downstairs for awhile we finally made it to 4:00 and I thought it would be fun to walk to the library and check out some new books. Ashton was excited to get to ride his bike there for the first time. He did great, besides stopping often to say he was tired and needed a break and besides stopping in the middle of the road one time refusing to pedal as people are honking at us to go ahead! I eventually had to get him off his bike and drag him and it across the road. Other than that it was fun and that got us to 5:00!

Time for Daddy to be home soon!

Ashton is such a fun, energetic kid, but he definitely has inherited his "need to be doing something constantly or I'm bored" trait from his Dad!!! It makes it really hard some days.

Today after our walk his little friend Tyler came over and they played downstairs for a good two hours without a single fight! So that was nice. I'm glad his play room actually get some use when he has a friend over since he rarely goes down to play by himself.

On Monday I had this same sense of not knowing what to do with myself because Ashton took a nap for the first time in a LONG time and I actually got Gunnar to go down at the same time. They slept for an hour at the same time! It brought back memories of when we just had Ashton and he slept for 2-3 hours every day. I remember always being caught up on everything. My to-do list consisted of a couple things (that I always used to put off forever) like catching up on filing, or a few pages of scrapbooking to be completely caught up!! Who knows now when my filing will ever get done! Ha! I do hope to get somewhat caught up on my scrapbooking next weekend when Lars takes Ashton to Price with him when he goes hunting. It will be fun for Ashton to go see his Nana and Papa and play with his cousins. And it will be fun to just have Gunnar at home with me and enjoy him even more.

Second day of Preschool

Today was Ashton's second day of preschool. I forgot to post how his first day went...so I'll just post now that it went really well-he told me that he had a lot of fun and played and played and played. Of course when I went to pick him up that day he didn't want to leave. I figured that would be how it was. His teachers said he did great! They said that for the first little while he wanted to be standing right next to one of them, but eventually he warmed up and was fine.

So today when I went to drop him off he did what I thought he might do on his first day. As soon as we got there he started saying he didn't want to stay and started trying to leave and hanging on to me. Luckily they had magnifying glasses laid out on the little tables, so that caught his attention and his friend Jace showed up just as I was trying to leave, so that helped too. So I told him goodbye and snuck out and thought he was fine when another Mom came out and asked me if the little boy with spikey hair was mine. I said yes and she said Oh he's just crying and asking for you and trying to escape! But at that point I was getting into the car and figured he'd be fine in a few minutes, so I just left. (he's done the same thing with a couple of his babysitters) Sure enough when I got back he was having a blast playing in the big sandbox and I could hardly get him to leave again. The teacher said he cried for a few minutes and then he was fine. I guess this is how it will be, some days he'll go easily and others he'll do this. He's so up and down on a daily basis anyway I knew if it didn't happen his first day it would happen soon enough.

Anyway here he is with his first preschool project!

Oh and when I ask him what he learned or what his favorite part was he just kind of says, I don't know, but then every once in awhile he'll say something that he learned like this weekend he all of a sudden said "Ya get it, ya do it, ya put it away." I had to laugh! Then today he started to run outside on the driveway, then stopped and said "We walk on cement, we run on grass." So at least I know he's listening! Actually that's one thing I always know about Ashton. The kid listens (intently) to everything! And doesn't forget anything either!

Saturday night trip up Logan Canyon

Ashton, Julius & Dante Saturday we were trying to think of something to do, so I called our new friends Gio and Aurora and asked them if they would want to get together and take the kids up the canyon to have hot dogs and smores and hang out around a fire. They were excited to get out too, so we loaded up the kids and food and headed up the canyon. Ashton loves to play with their boys Dante who just turned 5 and Julius who just turned 3. They had so much fun running around down by the river pretending to be in a cave and mostly just playing in the fire with their sticks. It was Gunnar's and Amalia's (their beautiful little girl...who is 7 months old) first campfire so they seemed to enjoy it too. The only mishap was when Ashton flung his fire stick out of the fire and poked Gio in the chest burning a hole in his shirt! We owe you a new shirt Gio! Sorry! Other than that I think we all had fun and it was nice to get up in the mountains before it gets too cold. Lars and I were talking on they way home about how lucky we are to live where we live and be able to drive up the canyon and be sitting around a fire in a matter of 20 minutes or so. We look forward to the day when we can start camping again when the boys get a little older.

Gunnar, me, Amalia and Aurora

Lars & Gunnar
Gio and Amalia

A comment Ashton just made

So I'm sitting here looking at another friend's blog and Ashton is downstairs with me and he is non-stop talking as usual and says "It's really annoying having Gunnar for a baby brother and I don't like being annoyed, so do you think we should just give him away?"

Some days he is so nice with him and then others....

What a little stinker!!

The other day I asked him if he would like it if we got a babysitter for Gunnar one night and Daddy and I would take him to a movie. To which he replied...No! We have to take Gunnar with us always-he can't have a babysitter! Oh the mind of a 3 1/2 year old.

Just for fun...

I love pictures (as everyone knows) and I love to look back through my pictures all the time. In albums, scrapbooks, on the computer or whatever. Especially right now I like to look back through pictures of Ashton at each age that Gunnar is. Lots of people tell us that Gunnar looks just like Ashton. At times he definitely does look like him to me, but really they look a lot different too. Gunnar has more of a baby look to him than Ashton did for very long and of course Ashton had a lot more hair at this point! He had already had about 4 haircuts and I'm still waiting for Gunnar's to grow back after his first one at 6 weeks!

Here is Ashton at 5 1/2 months...(one of my all time favorite pictures of him)

Here he is at just about exactly how old Gunnar is now... And here is Gunnar this past week...They definitely both have the same big curious blue eyes. I always remember Ashton's eyes looking just like this!

Ashton's First Day of Preschool!

Well today was the big day! I've been nervous about it for awhile because I could definitely tell that Ashton was having major anxiety about it for the past few weeks. Every time Lars or I or anyone else would bring up preschool Ashton would get in a bad mood and say he was "never, ever, never going to preschool!" At first when I signed him up back in March he was really excited and would ask me all the time when he got to start, but gradually as it got closer and as he realized that it would be us taking him and dropping him off and not staying there with him, he started to get really nervous. The past few days however I could see his attitude changing a little and at least he wasn't refusing to go. And amazingly the first day (or at least the drop-off) went really well! He and I had lunch together-I asked him what he wanted for his first day of preschool lunch and he said he wanted the piece of pizza that was left over from last night and Ramen noodles and a cookie. Then he actually got dressed relatively easily in the outfit I picked out for him and he even let me do his hair. These are the things that cause meltdowns in our house on a daily basis! Then he even smiled for some pictures in front of the house wearing his cute dinosaur backpack. My friend Angie came over to watch Gunnar while I took him so that was a big help. As we drove over I could tell he was getting a little nervous again and when we were about ready to park he said to me "Mommy I'm feeling a little bit sick."

A little nervous walking toward the door

So I just reassured him that it would be fine and got him out of the car and walked in with him. I thought it was really cute when we first got there, there was a little girl getting dropped off and her Mom was taking a picture of her outside, so I told Ashton that she would be in his class and told him to go say hi. I've been telling him that he'll make lots of new friends there and when he sees a new kid that he should just go up and say "Hi, my name is Ashton." So sure enough he walked right up to her and said "Hi, my name is Ashton." So cute!
Once we got inside he met one of his teachers and she gave him a little name tag and showed him where to hang up his backpack, then led him to a little table to play with some blocks. I sat with him for a few minutes then told him it was time for me to go. He looked a little scared and said, "Aren't you going to stay with me for a few more minutes?" So I did, then got up to leave and told him goodbye. He hurried and got up and said "Wait I need to give you a hug and a kiss." So I held him tight for a minute and kissed my sweet little boy goodbye and left. I think it ended up being harder for me than for him. I'm so proud of him today! I really thought that I would be the Mom leaving her child there kicking and screaming and he did so good! (so far...)
I got in the car and left and I couldn't help but cry a little. I've never really left him with anyone but family and a couple of babysitters at our house. I know he'll be fine and I'm so excited for him to have this new experience, but he's still my baby. I got home and the house was quiet without him here. Of course I'll be thankful for these 4 1/2 hours a week while he's there, but for today I miss him.

Crying, crying, crying!

Well I'm officially that mean Mom that makes her babies cry it out in the hopes that they will sleep through the night. We did it with Ashton a few times throughout the first year and it really worked within a couple nights. With him it was more not wanting to fall asleep at night, so we'd let him cry till he did (which wasn't ever very long). He slept through the night really early on, but would every once in awhile go through stages of not wanting to go to bed, so we'd let him cry and within a couple nights he was right back to sleeping well. With Gunnar, he goes to bed every night really easily right around 9:00 and for awhile he was sleeping longer and longer stretches-even 8 hours once or twice, but then gradually he has started waking up more and more to where he's up every 2-3 hours again! And of course wanting to eat every time. Well I think he's just gotten into a bad habit, so a couple nights ago I decided that I would try to let him cry it out because eventually he needs to learn how to put himself back to sleep when he wakes up in the night and to me sooner is better than later and everything I read says that they don't really need to be eating during the night at this age and my doctor has told me the same. So that night he slept till about 2:00, then woke up. Normally I would have gotten him up and fed him, then put him back down. But I just went in and rubbed his back and turned his music on and left. He immediately started crying, but really only cried for 10 minutes or so and was back asleep, then woke up again at 4:00 and did the same thing, then slept till 6:00. So I was encouraged that it wouldn't be too hard. Then the next night, he went down a little later around 9:45 and slept till 4:00, so I got more encouraged. Then last night was HORRIBLE! He went down at 9:00 and woke up around 12:30 and cried and cried and cried for a good hour at which point I couldn't take it anymore. It was breaking my heart to listen to him and imagine how he felt, wondering where I was and feeling abandoned by me. So I finally got up and fed him, then he woke up once more before waking up for the day around 7:00. I was so frustrated when I finally gave in and fed him that I sat there crying myself. Then this morning Ashton woke up in one of his bad moods asking for Daddy, and when I told him that he had already gone to work his mood got even worse and he started telling me that he didn't want me and wanted me to go away etc..., so I cried again! Needless to say our day didn't start out too well. At times like these I have to remind myself that Ashton is only 3 and that I can't take everything he says so seriously. It still makes me sad though. I think back to days when he only wanted me. I was the one he wanted to put him to bed and to kiss his owies when he hurt himself. I guess maybe he feels abandoned by me at times too now that we have Gunnar. Some days it's so hard to balance the time between them.

I had to take Ashton to the doctor this afternoon because his belly-button is all red and infected looking...it's been that way for 6 weeks or so (because he started picking at it), but really started looking bad the past few days, so I decided it needed to be looked at. Anyway the doctor said it's not really infected, but that it could be eczema or psoriasis and prescribed some cream to try on it. We had been putting neosporin on it, but he informed me that we probably made it worse by doing that. So if the cream doesn't clear it up in a few days we go back to try plan B-whatever that is.
So while we were there, I asked him about Gunnar crying it out and how long I could really safely let him cry. He said that I could let him cry for 2-3 hours if I could stand it, but that by going in after letting him cry for an hour just made it worse (which I already knew) because then he thinks eventually I'll come in if he just keeps crying. So last night I took a step back and now I have mixed feelings about it. I know that if I stick with it and don't cave in, it will probably work within a week, but it's so hard. He is sooooo stubborn and does not give up and it's so hard to listen to him crying so hard! And I was shocked that Ashton slept through it all...maybe he really didn't sleep too well and that was part of his bad mood this morning.
Anyway on a brighter note, he had another kickball game tonight and he actually participated in most of the game! So we're making progress there. What he really wanted to do was play with my friend's little girl's pom-pom's (that she had brought to cheer on her little brother), so she kept promising him he could use them if he would go kick the ball! Whatever works I guess.
I don't know what I'll do tonight when the crying starts, but I do know I could use lots of prayers for patience and prayers that God will help me to do whatever is best.