Happy 1st Birthday Gunnar!

My baby is 1 today! I'm happy and sad...we had a fun day celebrating him, but I just can't believe he's already 1...it happened too fast! That was the fastest year of my life. But it has been such an awesome year. I love being his Mom and I thank God for my sweet little boy every day. He is such a happy, fun little guy. I love that he is still such a mama's boy.He hasn't been feeling very well the past couple of days...and he had a rough night last night, just up a lot and wanting me to hold him...I just cherished it knowing that "it won't be like this for long". This morning like usual when he woke up I got him out of his crib and he gave me a big hug. He hadn't had a bath last night, so I bathed him while Lars and his parents were outside with Ashton. After I got him out of the tub, he just wanted to snuggle with me and lay his head on my shoulder. Again I held him for a long time and enjoyed it.

I love him so much it just makes my heart hurt.

How did I get so lucky for God to choose me to be his Mom?

It was about a week ago that I nursed him for the last time. I never (in the beginning) thought I would say it, but I miss it already and it was hard to know that that would be the very last time to share that closeness with him. When he was born I really didn't have much intention of breastfeeding at all since it didn't work out with Ashton, but I told Lars that I would give it a try again assuming that we'd be buying formula when we got home. Well from day 1 Gunnar was a champ at it, so I figured I'd better do my part to try to make it work. It was so hard at first. So painful and just hard because they eat so often when they're nursing! I was on that couch every 2 hours on the hour and he'd eat for a half an hour! It was such an awesome thing though to know that I was supplying everything he needed! (proof positive that size doesn't matter in some things! ha!) But it was also hard when you have a 3 year old who really still needs Mommy to do a lot of stuff for him and who's used to having all of the attention. So at first I would think "I'll just try to make it a couple more weeks, then another month, then by the time he was 6 months, he started eating more food and nursing less often and at that point I really enjoyed it a lot more...that was our special time togehter. So I started to think, why buy formula when he's still doing so great...I may as well try to make it till he's a year.And I'm so proud of myself for sticking with it~!

Anyway too much information for some people, but that was a big part of our lives this past year and this blog is like a journal to me besides being a way to share with friends and family. And I'm just going to miss this first year...but it's so fun to see him learn and grow too!

Happy Birthday little boy...I love you!

I'm so tired I'll have to blog about the party tomorrow...

Wait till you see the cake (part of the reason I'm so tired)!